Look At Me

via Knightt Cat

Just what I like.

Sultry looks will never go old, as I say it.

In The Deep

via Neon Stilletto

Have you ever felt like disappearing from this world?

I do.

And I don't think I'm the only one, there's many out there who keep themselves in silent pain rather than reaching out to anyone. Some just filter their minds out through writing, singing or simply by just doing things.

If there's one advice I'll ever give, nothing is forever.

Trust me.

You can never able to be in sadness forever, not without driven into madness ending up in a miserable demise. However, it's not likely to happen if you're responsible, yes I know how things can get out of hand but I believe there is point where you can stop it.

I do have regrets of my own, but like Frank Sinatra said; just too few to mention.

Most of the time I don't remember them or haunted by the thought of it. I want to live life in all its forms. Sad or happy, I will savour each moment with all my heart, as we love of it equally, I try to refuse to have a favorite because I do not want to relate myself to something, getting tied to it.

It would be a hard thing to do, but if everything was easy what is the point then?

For some reason, I'd like my life to have me at the edge of my seat, when I was first experiencing life at the tender age of eighteen, life was so exciting but everything has it consequences. I was learning things that was never taught by my parents nor my peers; it was wrong, it was dangerous, but most importantly it was me.

Somehow, I've gotten myself so close to this nature that I felt that I'm changing along with it. Got myself into troubles I've never been into before, change of personality and people around began to isolate me. Because I'm different? Let me repeat. Because I am different?

Yes, that was the case.

I managed to fight my way out from these webs of deceit, and make a winner out of myself. A fair deal you may say but really, do you see what is happening?

Nothing is forever.

I do love the feeling of being warm and loved all over, its a nice feeling but I know there will be a day where I am weak on the floor writhing in pain, crying. I wonder if Newton's third law actually applies, as every action has an equal opposite reaction.

And oh, I'm going off now. Bye.

See Me Inside

via Wild Fox

Give me a liar and he'll see my horns, send me an angel and she'll see my wings. Things are not what it seems all time of the year. Even a tree knows its seasons, why can't you?

If you're torn between two friends of vast differences; and being neutral is no longer the matter, what's important is that you are not entirely in decision of the whole situation; keep that in mind always.

Do what you can do best.

Both parties should understand that you're not just another line of boundary to their expanding demands, so are there only two sides of the story?

Taking sides can be a taxing affair, just be sure that you're ready and capable to stand by your ground so as that you won't be ridiculed easily for your own belief. It's a commitment you make, don't make them easily because you'd end up breaking them easily too.

Which is why adults and some has-beens advice us to think before you act.

Just as long you're quick on your feet to resolve to the most nearest logical course of action you're going to take, saves time from you riddling whom to be with or so and so.

And I don't like friends who'd force me to take sides, then you're demoted to an acquaintance cuz you're insulting my capability to think for myself, thank you.

Drama nowadays, are just mere words.

Me Alice

I'm glad I stumbled onto this website, Neon Stilettos. Alas, there is somebody who has an affection for teacups and my all time cartoon favourites, Alice In The Wonderland. I was a fantasy fueled little nipper I was, I seem to gravitate to nonsensical, impossible logic of how should things work. Plus, I like tea parties. It looked fun and pretty.

Here's a cover done by Vogue Italia 2008, I don't what month exactly and I think the pictures are neat, however, I think Vogue Girl Korea was a lot more charming on it. Remember this one?

Gorgeous heels, I like the small details yet so frustratingly simple.

I've always think that lime green is a friendly colour, don't you think so?

Alice takes a trip down the tinsel town and this is what she ends up with, cigarettes and make up.

She's had too much, he's had enough.

I guess we've heard that one all the way round the world, and rightly so; we still can't seem to get enough of it. Are you capable of bouncing off the walls with a crazy fun addicted chick who is most probably going to finish your cigarette pack before you do? Or you'd rather tearing hairs with her about wild night escapades, constant inebriation, nail polish obsession, money whoring; ever wonder why do you put up with that only to get so little in return?

For I know such (pitiful) men and boys who will do anything for her to stay by her side simply because she's pretty. With this, I'm confident to acknowledge that beauty is a weapon, innocent by existence yet so grudgingly deceptive.

I wish women wouldn't use it as a weapon(I'm talking as if they're handling a gatling gun or something wth), because a weapon could backfire, therefore in turn hurt themselves as well. The door swings both ways, girl.

Enough with the military geek infused point there; I think beauty is a blessing. Or at least I think it is. Having beauty entitles you to yield a certain power, thus is a responsibility. Your beauty could light up a hope for ZOPFAN or bring a maelstrom of crushing winds and thunder; so it's your choice.

And remember,

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

- Margaret Hungerford

If you want me to be an obvious git; it means subjective you dolt.

You're Curious

As if I didn't know it any sooner, if you're wondering who's the singer for the music in Chantal Thomass website; it's Biting My Nails by Genevieve Waite, not Tim Curry.

It's here.

Enjoy. I liked it too for a full minute, then turned it off.

Slap Me Please

via Paper Tissue

I am most pleased with myself today. I got off my temper at my mother which was unbelievably rude of me to do that in front of people, gave a smug face to her boyfriend; spite the god damned uni security guards for which I wish to burn them to death with napalm for sticking in their nose into my private life and had the best worst news I could possibly get which is to have the family debt mounted up to another golden fifty grand, for which I’d like to hang my older brother on the ceiling fan for being such a useless piece of meat. Even maggots wouldn’t want him!

God, I’ve never been so angry and frustrated all my life that I simply lash out at anyone for any disagreeing with me or just rather, a slight bother will bring me to claw out their eyes and suffer my rage.

Normally, I am not like this. I like being calm and have my thoughts collected but today has gotten me off the hook. It diminishes my reputation to a nil!

I hate to lose my temper, but really when I do lose it; it means something. I don’t burst out things every day of my life even I’m supposed to. I always take precaution of what I say and do because it matters you know.

People out there aren’t very generous with their opinions, and second time chances are hard to come by so I’m not giving any look.

I’m an evil monster who should just admit one’s mistake instead of pointing fingers. I know that me and my family are going through a rough patch right now, but it’s not gonna be forever isn’t it? I’m sure one day we’ll get past these rocks and get back on the flat ground again. I miss those times.

What I really want to do right now is to run to my mother and hug her tightly, tell her that I love her and there is nothing in this world should ever hurt her feelings, and if I ever do, she has my full permission to slap me hard across the face even if it draws blood, I don’t care. I don’t deserve to be alive for the way I acted this evening before, so vile and just plain rude.

I haven’t said sorry either. It’s alright, I’ll make it up to her when I see her.

God, I wish to have the strength to remain composed at all times, please.

The Godfather

via Neon Stilettos

As long I'm not acting daft, and begin to realize that I must set things straight; I am perfectly normal.

Under any circumstances.

And no, I'm not going to give you an excuse for a justifiable action for which I am going to tell you right now. Look, I want to be the Don.

Yes, and I'm not crazy, plus I wouldn't even bat an eyelid if I were given a chance to be involved with the Syndicate.

Not any Syndicate mind you, the big time blowers floats my boat darling. Well, if I can't be the Don by any chance; being the Consigliere would put me at ease almost immediately--for at least ten seconds I think.

No, I haven't been watching the Godfather it was just a random book I picked up about the Mafias and such, and yes, Marlon Brando was sexy in his younger days, he's a fuzzy old man for a Don but I like the fact that he had a pet cat. It bridges the similarities gap closer between us, ooh I feel a bit like a Don Vito Corleone already!

My pet cat died. Either way stolen or lost its way home.

Anyways, as I was saying I mentioned earlier on that 'power is sexy' on my previous post before this and I still do find it sexy till now; if you tell me which girl wouldn't like a little bit of arrogance, wanting her man to prove that he's manly enough for her?

I want a man. I know, I do. A man who won't whine as frequently as I'm capable of but not likely to do it unless I want some attention from you. YES, YOU. A man who is able to provide me security especially when I'm walking about and there's a bunch of idiots ogling at me as if they've never seen a pair of legs before, he should possess the power of an immensely cold icy stare at them clowns to scare their pants away; or else get a pair of eye laser beams or something. You're suppose to make me feel safe. A man who can feed me like a walrus because if I'm hungry all the time, I'd probably be digging your liver out for suppe--umm nothing!

You know what I mean? A man!

Not some boy trying to teach me to adapt to his own liking. WHAT DO YOU KNOW YOU INEXPERIENCED LITTLE *takes a deep breath* GIT!!

The only girl you've ever been with is just as clueless as you are! No wonder it doesn't work!

Get a clue, damn it!

Actually, the last two sentences up there is somewhat applied to me sadly. :(

But hey, that's why we learn from the past, or rather a good ol' reason why the miserable subject History ever bother cropping up on the high school syllabus; making a right misery out of anyone. What you like History?! Get out of here!!

History classes, lectures, homework or anything that related to history is boring. We are done and over with it; could not wait any sooner to get away from it. But let's not take this matter based on one point only: Boring. Perhaps there was a manipulative factor that causes the dreaded subject to be boring!

Come back here you History book worshippers!

What makes History much more interesting is that you need a good storyteller. Not everyone is good at that. I'm not. A story told with full passion and effort is mesmerizing for weeks and your listeners can pass it on to others and they pass it on to another millions of people. A story that was barely even a story, half assed through the way; people most likely to toss it off their mind the second the next sentence came out your mouth.

I have lousy History teachers at high school. Plus, even lousier History lecturers at university.

Nyeh. Whoa, what an include to round up a pair of sentences!

So I want to be the Don. I know it's easier said than done, I barely picked up a gun in my life, let alone a battering stick or diver's knife; but I'm probably most harmful with a feather duster. I'd tickle you to death of course.

Never mind, I'll just use the short cut, probably flirt with some bloke who happens to be a Don and marry him off to me. Persuade him. Make him. Control him. Take him. Rape him!

Okay, stopppp.

Maybe I was dreaming back there, there's no way that's gonna happen, I mean, how would I really know that he is the Don or something? And the other question that will string along somehow. Questions, questions, questions...that's why I never bother writing them down! And forget about them later.

Had the misfortune to remember about it again but with the completely erased memory that I have run into this mental block before and repeat the whole process again. How lovely.

Anyhow, the pointless dialogue of the day have kept me well and satisfied for at least a few hours or if I'm unlucky, days I suppose. But nevertheless, I shall carry on with my charming fantasy of men in black suits and shades escorting me into a brightly colored ice cream van to get my 'fix'. You know? Triple chocolate chip sundae with extra whipped cream and cherry toppings; God I'm a slob and you know it.