Wednesday, September 2

Just Wondering

via Nast

I had just spent the entire day lying on my back with the laptop on my chest watching Fools and Horses from Series 1 to 4 and I'm just about to finish up the whole dealie. I am so utterly smitten that I feel my stomach tied up every minute of that show. They're simply brilliant, I don't know why, I mean I KNOW, but I wouldn't know how to put it. It doesn't stop me laughing at every word they say, that I can tell you.

Oh for god's sake you'd just have to watch it to enjoy it! It's downright hilarious, if you liked dry humor and witty sarcasms, but then again if you don't; IT'S STILL FUNNY. Trust me.

Somehow I've grown an odd crush on Boycie(a little dabble on Del Boy), maybe I'm just weird. Sick. I don't know, both?

Boy, what a wolly comment up there isn't it?

Anyways, that won't keep me from updating you The List I've made the other day. I made it up in my head; just so you know.

The List is just a pile of dude names I would seriously give no second thoughts to bang the living daylights out of them. I mean like real animal crazy carnal lust you're talking, yes and I have them wacky fantasies. Only on these guys though. It's very kinky if you must know.

Great, I sound like a pervo now. I guess, I'll just shut it and do the world a favor.

I must be joking you, no way I'm not contaminating your mind; I'm in love with these men! It's Love! Madness!

Alright, alright let's not get carried away here; I haven't given out names yet. Let's start with the first one.

1. Clive Owen

Finally, the secret is out. Apparently a greased up fat ball cat came out of the bag, and it was bleedin sloppy alright! Clive Owen is perhaps the only man who'd ever made me shiver in my...uh, thighs and has the most perfect rugged look I've ever dreamed of! I mean did you look at his jaws? I sworn could've creamed my..I mean, get an exhilaration looking at that only. Ooh you wouldn't know what would I do to get with him alone. In the library. Reading books. And all that stuffs. Real hot ain't it?

2. Billie Joe Armstrong

I've been wanting to nail him since the last five years and he keeps turning me down simply because he's married. I told him I'd lose my virginity to him but I guess, it didn't matter as much as his family. He said to me, "Do whatever you want with it cuz I don't want it," and doesn't that break a junior highschool-er's heart? Very much, but I still keep him close somewhere in my heart; and its his denial that made me want him more, oh my god I think I have a problem! I do. I'm in BLOODY love with him that's what it is! However, my heart shall never be at rest once you've set your eyes on me; till then I shall fritter away in void solitudes or bask into another man's arms thinking that I'll never be happier without you. Well, that was a part of my sick fantasy of this bloke; I wanted to pretend that he's my undying love and I will wait for him for as long as I would like a silly old stump gone senile.

And that is all of The List.

What? Of course there's only two men is in The List! What, you think that I'm some kind of a sex machine that goes out and hunt men then eat them for food? If I would, I don't think even Kegel's exercise could help me out let alone what's the point of me being a woman later then?

I've made a wise decision striking out Pete Doherty and John Challis names so that-- well, okay I know I fancy Boycie too but I don't think he's qualified enough to be in The List. And no, I'm not thinking of going at Del Boy at all. Just Boycie. But it's like I'm making out with a grandfather! What if his denture creams are mint? On a second thought, I like mint- hang on I mean, he might just die from his sinus attack or god knows what else old people die from while I'm in a middle of...never mind. Anyways, I'd like to hug and have a good chat with him will do me all good and proper. As for Petey, that's a no brainer or do you need me to point it out to you? I've seen him naked, and it's ghastly. End of story.

I like men. It's a sentence that could send you away for miles of reasoning why. You know, real men not boys. Not those men-looking model boys gracing every single page in the perfumes, clothes, accessories, footwear ads in Vogue magazines. Do you believe that most of these boys are not even twenty and they freakin' look like bloody forty! Dudes here in my country are twenty and they look like a pathetic twelve; but the thirties and forties are no better because they've gotten so fat which is a national crisis as there's more tubby people around now and plus, their hair is falling all over the place. Ew, gross. That makes me a pedophile if I, dare I say, ogle at them model boys? What in the world do they eat? Get chemicals pumped into them so that they turn into a raving estrogen lunatics just to grow a boy in an instant? I wonder if his willy is instant too, I'd like to know thank you very much! Probably it's damn well DEFECTIVE at the rate he's growing, it's like those chickens in their coups getting fed all day waiting for the moment before you send it to the slaughter house, then BAM! Chopped its head off, and you'll have it nicely served in a curry dish at the next Indian restaurant you can find on the block.

God what the hell? Where did that come from?

I guess I've had too much on my plate and I had to get it off; anyhow the mundane grey blog I have out there is beginning to be a nuisance; I'm in a middle of a blog war if you know what that is, and I guess this blog is what I've got to escape some of the emotions in my sappy head wanted to say without being judged at every word I've typed in here. At least I'm not reduced to a mere sneering contest within pretentious airheads(yes, there are sad existence like them) who think they could pull off an epic comeback with their futile 100 word or less, 300 at most because anymore would tire their brains out or worse, a social outcast in their circle of conformity. These people wouldn't exist if there's no one to clean up after them, do their dishes, perhaps even wipe their bums if you will; too bloody dependable to be nowhere near independent.

Hope it's not much of a surprise to you for the slight difference of content on the blog, let's just put that as a welcoming post for September. Hooray!